Halfway Done

This is my last year of taking all these damn pre-reqs. I was supposed to have only one more pre-req to take in microbiology. About a few months ago, CSN informed me that they can’t accept my credits for english 101 and communication 101 that I’ve taken ages ago, even though it states in my BA that those credits have transferred over. So why not just accept those credits?! If I knew that, I would have taken care of those classes last year. Also, if I had taken political science 101 here in Las Vegas then I wouldn’t be required to take Nevada history. So that’s another class I had to take. *sigh* It’s frustrating because I had to add those classes to the list. I just want to hurry up and be done with school.

It feels like I’m a tortoise in a race where everyone has already surpassed me with their career-life, and I’m still trotting along trying to get there. At least I’m one step closer to my goals, right? I’n trying to stay positive. I do feel lucky and grateful that I have this opportunity, AND I’m grateful that I still have time for my family. I was doing full-time when I went for my BA, but now I’d rather be a part-time student because I want to be able to balance the school work load with family life. So, kudos to those parents who have to work, go to school, and manage everything at home with minimum help. I was a single parent before, so I know what it’s like.

Also, what’s a downer for me is when there are certain people in my life who likes to say things like this: “You sure have been in school forever” or “You’re still in school? When are you going to be done? Why won’t you do something else?” Sometimes those words echo in my head and it makes me feel bad about myself. Maybe they don’t mean to put me down. It makes me feel like what I’m doing is just a waste of time, when I know it’s not. I put a lot of hard work in every one of these classes, but of course they don’t see that. The last thing I need is someone judging me, which I don’t understand why. So what if I’m still a stay-at-home mom and I’m still in school?!

Everyone’s journey is different. Why can’t some people just respect that everyone’s path is different? Sometimes I just want to ask them why it bothers them so or why do they feel the need to remind me, ya know what I mean?! Seriously, what’s the big deal?! They’re not the ones taking these classes for me or paying for it. They’re not the ones taking care of my kids or paying my bills. I guess some people can’t help making rude comments.

I am proud of myself, though, that I have a bachelor’s degree that I know I can put to use in the future. The original plan was to get my masters in Occupational Therapy (OT), but that’s not going to work out for me anymore. As of now, I’m just a part-time student, taking two classes at a time until I complete all the pre-reqs to get into the ADN program, and then work on my BSN while I work as an RN. I wish I had just went for a BSN instead of getting my BA in Healthcare Administration, which was attained only for the sole purpose of getting into the OT program. I decided that it’s not worth pursuing if I’m going to end up drowning in student loans. Going for the ADN/BSN is a much cheaper alternative for me, and I will still be helping patients.

I just have to keep going, even when I feel like quitting at times. I know I shouldn’t focus on how long it’s taking me, but at how far I’ve come along. If things had gone according to plan, I would have been further along in my life. Oh well. I can’t beat myself up for shit that doesn’t go as planned. It’s just that at times, like today, I get a bit frustrated. I just want to be done with school already; that’s all.

**ADN: Associate’s degree in nursing; **BSN: Bachelor’s of Science in Nursing; **BA: Bachelor’s of Art; **RN: registered nurse